Bobbit Virus:  Removes a vital part of your hard disk then re-attaches
     it.  (But that part will never work again.)

     Paul Revere Virus:  This revolutionary virus does warns you of impending
     hard disk attack--once if by LAN, twice if by C.

     Politically Correct Virus:  Never calls itself a "virus," but instead
     refers to itself as an "electronic microorganism."

     Right to Life Virus:  Won't allow you to delete a file, regardless of how
     old it is.  If you attempt to erase a file, it requires you to first see
     a counselor about possible alternatives.

     Ross Perot Virus:  Activates every component in your system, just before
     the whole thing quits.

     Ted Turner Virus:  Colorizes your monochrome monitor.

     Arnold Schwarzenegger Virus:  Terminates and stays resident.  It'll be
     back.

     Dan Quayle Virus:  Prevents your system from spawning any child process
     without joining into a binary network.

     Dan Quayle Virus #2:  Their is sumthing rong wit your
     komputer, ewe jsut cant figyour out watt!

     Federal Bureaucrat Virus:  Divides your hard disk into hundreds of little
     units, each of which does practically nothing, but all of which claim to
     be the most important part of your computer.

     Gallup Virus:  Sixty percent of the PCs infected will lose 38 percent
     of the data 14 percent of the time (plus or minus a 3.5 percent margin of
     error).

     Terry Randly Virus:  Prints "Oh no you don't" whenever you choose "Abort"
     from the "Abort, Retry, or Fail" message.

     Texas Virus:  Makes sure that it's bigger than any other file.

     Adam and Eve Virus:  Takes a couple of bytes out of your Apple.

     Congressional Virus:  The computer locks up erratically with a
     message appearing on each half blaming the other side for the problem.

     Airline Virus:  You're in Dallas, but your data is in Singapore.

     Freudian Virus:  Your computer becomes obsessed with marrying its own
      motherboard.

     Jimmy Hoffa Virus:  Your programs can never be found again.

     Congressional Virus #2:  Runs every program on the hard drive
     simultaneously, but doesn't allow the user to accomplish anything.

     Kevorkian Virus:  Helps your computer shut down as an act of mercy.

     Star Trek Virus:  Invades your system in places where no virus has gone
     before.

     Health Care Virus:  Tests your system for a day, finds nothing wrong, and
     sends you a bill for $4,500.

     George Bush Virus:  It starts by boldly stating "Read
     my docs...no new files!" on the screen.  It proceeds to fill up all
     the free space onyour hard drive with new files, then blames it on
     the Congressional Virus