Top 10 Signs Your Team Is Going Nowhere

ESPNET SportsZone 

10. Your middle linebacker's name is Skippy 

9. School just signed a shoe deal with Hush Puppy 

8. ROTC guys point the cannon at the field 

7. The only agents visiting your players are from the FBI 

6. College president says he wants "student-athletes" 

5. Punter is featured on the cover of this year's press
guide 

4. Upcoming John Tesh concert sells more tickets 

3. Coach still thinks team speed is over-rated 

2. Hate groups protest the lack of violence on the field

And the number one sign your team is headed nowhere this year...< 

1. Mascot transfers to a NAIA school for better SportsCenter
coverage