BEER PHILOSOPHIES:
 
 "Buy a man a beer and he wastes an hour.  Teach a man to brew and he
 wastes a lifetime."
 Unknown
 
 "Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk.  That will teach you to
 keep your mouth shut."
 Earnest Hemmingway
 
 "Time is never wasted when you're wasted all the time."
 Catherine Zandonella
 
 "A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank
 her..."
 W.C. Fields
 
 "Work is the curse of the drinking class."
 Oscar Wilde
 
 "When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading."
 Henny YOungman
 
 "Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
 Unknown
 
 "If you ever reach total enlightenment while drinking beer, I bet it makes
 beer shoot out of your nose."
 "Deep Thoughts," by Jack Handy
 
 "The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind."
 Humphrey Bogart
 
 "People who drink light "beer" don't like the taste of beer; they just
 like to pee alot.".
 Capital Brewery, Middleton, WI
 
 "I drink to make other people interesting."
 George Jean Nathan
 
 "An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time  with
 fools."
 Earnest Hemmingway ("For Whom the Bell Tolls")
 
 "You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on."
 Dean Martin
 
 And seen recently on a pick-up's bumper sticker........
 "Beer, helping ugly people to have sex, since 1872."