ASU jokes --- please help out by suggesting more 

How do you get an ASU graduate off your porch?
Pay him for the pizza.

The ASU basketball team was placed in a remedial English class. "Because
we are all new on campus we are going to start with the basics," the
professor explained. "Does anyone know what comes after a sentence?" All
of the players raised their hands. "The appeal!" They all shouted with
pride.

Why do ASU students put their report cards in their car windows?
So they can get the handicap spot.

Why doesn't ASU have ice on the sidelines?
THe guy with the recipe graduated.

What's the difference between a litter of puppies and ASU fans?
Eventually puppies grow up and stop whining.

What does the average ASU player get on his SAT's?
Drool.

A woman was walking through her new house with the contractor. As they
walked through rooms, she told him what color she wanted him to paint
each room. In the bedroom she said, "I think this would be nice in a cream."
The contractor stuck his head out of the window and yelled, "GREEN SIDE UP!"
This perplexed the woman. They moved to the living room and she said, "
I would love rose in this area." Again the contractor strolled over to the
window and yelled, "GREEN SIDE UP!" Again the woman was confused but did
not say anything. As they walked into the kitchen she proudly announced
that she wanted this room to be, " a glorious shade of mauve." Once
again the contractor went to the window and yelled,"GREEN SIDE UP!" Finally
she could not stand this anymore. "What are you shouting GREEN SIDE UP out
very window of this house?" He replied,"I'm sorry. I have a crew of 
ASU students laying sod across the street."

What do you call a person from ASU in a three piece suit?
The defendant